Raising concerns about a parent's memory is one of the hardest conversations a family can have. Get it wrong — lead with worry, come in too strong, do it in front of other family members — and the conversation shuts down before it starts.
In this episode, John Webb walks through how to raise memory concerns with an aging parent in a way that leads to cooperation rather than defensiveness. Built from 20 years of having these conversations alongside families.
Make the goal an appointment, not agreement about a diagnosis. You aren't qualified to diagnose, and arguing about it puts you on opposite sides. The ask becomes: "Let's get it checked. It might be your thyroid." That's an easier yes — and it's genuinely the most likely first step.
Yes — a meaningful number of memory complaints in older adults trace back to something treatable: thyroid function, B12 deficiency, sleep apnea, depression, or medication interactions. That's exactly why the first step is a medical workup, not a verdict.
Send the physician a brief written note beforehand — your observations, dated and specific. And ask the office to include a memory screening as part of the annual physical, so it isn't the marquee event of the visit.